Feel Your Pain!
over, Oprah. Take a back seat, Maury. There's a new kid in
town, and it's none other than former president and Harlem's
coolest home-boy, Bill Clinton. It appears that Jenny Jones,
Ricki Lake and the rest of the teary-eyed, revelation sharing,
fist-fight-instigating talk show exploiters might have some
competition in the ranks. Look out; here comes Jerry Springer
II in the persona of the man who claims to have headed "the
most ethical administration in history."
I can hear it now - the music begins, the narrator shouts
"Welcome to 'I Feel Your Pain,' with your host, Billlllllll
Clinton!!!" Guests will be breaking down the doors to
appear, and the audience will scream as if it were the second
coming of the Beatles. Dozens of scantily-clad interns, or
uh, production assistants will be swarming the ex-prez bringing
soda pops, McDonald's fries and cigars.
should include the old Clinton Gang of yore. Imagine James
Carville's appearance. Or Web Hubbell's. Better yet, how about
David Brock? Talk about a scoop! Only every other news organization
on the airways, (with the exception and good graces of Fox
News Channel prime time, thank God), has had Mr. Brock appear
to discuss his newest book, Blinded by the Right.
imagine the segment would go something like this:
"So, David, tell me. Just how vast do you think this
Right Wing Conspiracy is? (laughs) I used to tell Hillary
she was crazy, well, she is, but..."
"Well, for this show, please call me Bill."
"Okay, Bill. (Grins like the cat who caught the canary)
I ought to know, I was a charter member of the VRWC. (Begins
to yell) I started it! It's mine! And they want to take
it away from me! But I showed them! I..."
"Yes, yes, well, David, can you explain to the good
folks here in our audience, (Turns and waves to the audience
members, who erupt in applause) just why you threw in with
the GOP and it's ilk?"
"Bill, I have to say, I honestly don't know. I mean,
I lied, and lied while in the GOP, but I promise, in my
newest book, Blinded by the Right, on sale now, that
I am not lying! The Right Wingers say I am, they... targeted
me! (Becomes very agitated) They accuse me of lying now!
I'm not! I swear! I... " (Begins to cry)
(Embraces Brock, and let's him cry on his shoulder) "David,
David, all I can say is... (And the audience joins in) 'Ah
Feel Your Pain!'"
course this is a total parody of a news item I saw courtesy
of the Media
Research Center's Cyber Alert. The item, titled "CBS
News can't afford Bill Clinton," a Los Angeles Times
article from Thursday has the former president meeting with
executives of NBC discussing the possibility of a day time
talk show hosted by Clinton. Rumors had been circulating of
Clinton as a possible replacement for Bryant Gumbel, who is
leaving CBS' low rated The Early Show this month. Asking price
for Clinton? $50 million dollars per year. Ouch.
about that for a minute. Fifty million dollars per year to
do what? Gab on a talk show 40 weeks a year? Do interviews
on morning "news shows" of authors, actors, athletes,
chefs, lawyers, lions, tigers and bears? Please. Most of us
work for a living. Real work, not this drivel. So who is actually
watching these shows which air from 7:00 am to 9:00 am in
the East? Hey, something the advertisers might want to keep
hope it's safe to say that with a price tag of $50 mil, Clinton
won't be anchoring any news programs, or hosting any talk-fests
for awhile. But, consider this: television producers and major
FOB's, Harry Thomason and Linda Bloodworth-Thomason have been
actively pitching Clinton for some type of career in television.
Major players in Hollywood, the Thomason's are long time supporters
of the Clinton's.
this from a Washington
Post article, written by staff writer Lisa de Moraes:
informal meeting was one of many meetings President Clinton
has had with many people over the past year," Julia
Payne, spokesperson at the Office of Former President William
J. Clinton, said today in a statement.
Clinton did not demand a talk show. He went to listen. The
President is gratified by the range of opportunities that
have been presented to him."
meeting took place yesterday in the Studio City offices
of Mozark Productions, the production company of television
producers Harry Thomason and Linda Bloodworth-Thomason.
article also indicates that NBC has been after Clinton since
November of 2000 to do something resembling a Meet The Press-style
show. Yes, I can see that happening. Really. We know there's
not enough liberally-based political discussion shows on television,
we actually need more. And who better than Billy Clinton to
head it up?
have been quoted as saying that the former president is satisfied
with working on the development of his presidential library,
speaking engagements (which garner anywhere from $10 to $15
million per year), and living peacefully as Citizen Clinton.
Clinton has reconsidered his "retirement." Being
an average Joe, well, as average as a former impeached president
can be, just isn't enough. Who knows why for sure, but I suspect
it's the longing for the spotlight, and the attention he's
missed since leaving the White House. From the most powerful
office in the world, to an office in Harlem isn't going to
prepare yourself. One day, in the not so distant future, you
might see an advertisement promo pop up in the commercial
breaks touting, "Premiering this week! A new talk show
from the creators of..."
then, rest easy Oprah. Don't sweat it, Jerry Springer. Your
sleaze is safe.